Eavesdown Abbey

I emailed this and it showed up in the post when I'm logged in, but not when I'm logged out. So, save, copy url, and let's see how this goes. It's thumbnail, because the regular-sized embed was huge! Click on it to make it larger. :)

This was at my dr's office.

Woke up feeling meh, but I don't think (I hope, hope, hope) I'm getting sick. Fingers crossed.

I fell down the YouTube rabbit hole of journals and planners - never a good idea. Then I start thinking I want to do this or that, buy the other and the next, spend too long researching all of the above...and I know, after too many years of doing exactly that, that a: I do not plan. I am not a planner. So stop looking at planners. Right now.  
'
And b: I already have a stash of blank journals, 3 're-date and they're fine' Passion Planners I bought two years ago (the price of which has exploded, so these will be the absolute last when they're gone), and 2 Filofaxes that I don't use because, well, rings. Rings get in the way. BUT I could remove the mechanism and turn one into a sort of Midori Traveler's Notebook (did that with a 3rd Filofax I had a few years ago), but again...why??? Why? I have this stationary fixation that YouTube seriously feeds into - I had to ban myself from anything like that on Instagram - and all these ideas just end up with money spent that could better be used elsewhere. So I'm really trying to curb the ADHD side of my brain and not let the impulsivity take over. Again. If only the Autistic side could keep control of the other...*sigh* (yes, I'm generalizing and joking, but my brain, my description).

I'm seriously considering keeping away from all the usual social media for the month of January. I'm in a funk, and the constant scrolling on them (and Twitter negativity) just drags me down even more. There's so much being said, and yet none of it really means anything, you know? I've found a few articles in which the author is missing old-school blogging* (I keep saying that because one blogs on business websites too, but for a completely different reason); wouldn't it be cool if everyone took January, started a blog about "life, the universe, and everything" (all hail Douglas Adams!), and then asked at the end of the month if it fed your soul more than the cacophony elsewhere? 

A girl can dream, right? :)

I might turn my website into more of a blog (though it will be public, so not quite the same as having the ability to write 'access only' posts about the deep shit of life), but I'm not sure. It IS time to let go of the dream of making the healing work my income, so the website just might go private til the domain runs out. The dream is never going to happen, and no matter how long I beat that dead horse, it's still dead. I will never, ever stop helping people and animals, but I just have to stop hoping I can stay home, send light, and be able to pay bills and rent doing so. It breaks my heart, but in reality, the constant feeling of being a failure at business is even worse.

It's getting colder (we missed that Arctic freeze, luckily) and I think it's time for some hot chocolate. 

Night all! Stay safe and warm!


*A sample of those:
www.mygiantstrawberry.com/blog/a-love-letter-to-blogging-or-why-blogs-are-more-relevant-than-ever

https://wilwheaton.net/2022/12/and-then-it-was-december/

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/stop-talking-to-each-other-and-start